On Being Oneself

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How does one be himself? How do you be yourself when people demands one part of you and another of someone else’s? We have many faces to which we choose to wear, to which society wants to see. But being yourself and not wearing any of the social faces is what intrigues me most. Because one has to take the risk of showing himself to the world without thinking about what others would say or how people would react to the truth. And this thought leads to many other thoughts of being me, the “me” that might shock some and does not surprise a few.

Who am I? Who is this Jen that hides behind a transparent curtain. Actually I do not really hide. I am an open book yet I am not. I show who I truly am but I don’t. There is a lot of things that makes me, me. A series of contradicting facts that might create conflicts for one’s mind. And because of that most people misinterpret. Others would even misjudge. But how does explain oneself? When he himself does not know? When he himself does not understand?

I wonder what and how people think of themselves? Of other people? Of me? I wonder how one would define oneself. I have so many questions. I have so many things to say. But words does not show how curious the mind is. And this…is being me. The ever curious Jen who wanders from place to place just to listen to what people think about random things. The ever curious Jen who always have a question and falls in love with unusual answers. The ever curious Jen who always ask why and how and what just to keep the conversation going. The ever curious Jen who eats and drink coffee just to peek at someone reading Paulo Coelho. The ever curious Jen who freezes in a crowd and focuses on whatever is in front of her, staring only at a subject while shakig inside due to shyness and sweat. The ever curious Jen who stays silent within a group, alone with her thoughts, while smiling and still aware of the topics being discussed. 

But this is just one side of a sphere, one point of view to compare to a thousand if not a million point of views.

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