Someone asked me lately, “Why do you keep on stabbing yourself with people and situations? Is it for enjoyment? Pleasure?”
Whoa. Honestly speaking I don’t know. Just before that question, I told someone “I am right here, ready for you to hurt. Whenever, wherever.”
“Why do you keep on letting people hurt you?” one would ask. And I would smile and whisper in my mind, “so they won’t hurt anybody else.” Is that reasonable enough for you? Would that justify my actions and satisfy your curiosity?
I admit, I am weak at heart. I easily break from sad little things. But I guess I exist to get hurt, to love more than how people loves me, to give more than what people gives anybody else, to serve more than necessary, to do everything more than what others do for people and so much more.
And yes, I rant, I whine, I complain at times. I get too sad and push certain people away from me by saying painful words. I even cry when I am alone. But nobody really knows why. Nobody knows the burden that I carry every time somebody gets hurt. It would be lesser a burden for me if I am the one who’s hurt rather than knowing that someone is in pain.