Crushing dreams, crumbling hearts. I go escape a day of reality to face another reality.
On my way, I feel excited and alone. I did not think about what could happen on the following hours. Cause I have no idea, actually. And I just want to enjoy my ride alone. Fleeting hours, I took a 30-minute nap, then chatted endlessly.
My sister was supposed to fetch me, cause this girl will get lostin Manila you know! But she just woke up when I arrived at the terminal. I was pushed to have an adventure, unexpectedly. I rode the LRT for the first time, alone. Haha. Then walked and walked until I reached Robinsons Place. What a fancy place, my little sister lives in. Had breakfast at McDonald’s and went to her condo to sleep while waiting for dad’s go signal.
We had lunch at Almon Marina and I loved the Seafood Kebab meal. Then strolled a bit. Looked for corporate attires and all. Pricey fancy things that I don’t want that much. Then had Mango Bravo at Conti’s Bakeshop and Restaurant. Strolled again, bought monkeys and went back to the condo then rode on a bus home.
As for emotions are concerned, I am appalled. I don’t know why, I dont know how. I just know that this isn’t right at all, no matter how you or me change the atmosphere. I actually decided and wanted to see for myself, to satisfy my hunger for answers. And I got it, unconsciously. I wanted to cry my heart out. But if I do, my kids at home will greet me with puffy eyes? I don’t want that. All I could do is suck it up and smile. What will I tell them when they ask? Of course I’ll tell them that I went to see their grandpa but he was sick so he coudn’t come see them early or right now, or whatever. Lies pile up like molten rocks on a mountain where lava hides inside.
The man I can not greet in public. Or sorry, let me rephrase that. The man I am not allowed to greet in public. The man I am not allowed to say cheesy things like how I love him or how my life is, lately. That even if he asks, I have to say how great it is that I am receiving his love and care even if he is so near yet so far from me.
So. I went home with material stuff from the great old man and I slept a little to forget my selfish thoughts. I have to be bigger than this, you know.
Note/s from the trip: Nothing goes wrong if you stock a can or two of Pringles when traveling. Family bonds are the most special moments you can ever get even if it was just through escaping from both sides of reality, even if it just takes half of your day.