Internal Bleeding

sunrise outside my window as my mind wonders…

Internal bleeding. I’ve only heard of this from my mom when she had it before that she had to go in the operating room due to some casualties. But that was a long time ago. And now, it’s my turn. I do not believe in illnesses caused by genes and heredity whatsoever. But then I am experiencing it now, nonetheless. I may hate to admit it to myself, but I guess I expected this much to happen to me. Health-wise, I don’t care that much for my body, not even care for diet and fats and whatnot.

Am only scared that I might be delivered to the operating rooms soon. I despise medicine and prescriptions, I don’t even drink any capsule for headaches or body pains. And the thought of me on a patient bed dependent on a dextrose beside me and strangers looking down on me, it makes me nauseous. It does not suit me.

Sorry for telling you about this. I just can’t help it. I shake with the thought of me being absent from my kids’ life for a week or two. I cringe with the thought that I may not be able to write or draw. And not telling anyone of this is what makes it more real for me. So I might as well share it to the world without being too public or too private. Haha. I know, complicated me, as always.

Anyways, I do not want your pity. I simply want you to know that internal bleeding due to some hereditary cause is bull and I hate it. Don’t you hate being sick just because someone from your family has experienced it???


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