She was frantic the third time. She secretly longs for his arrival, yet she does not really expect it. Her mind was preoccupied with perfection for the whole morning that she was even palpitating over her third cup of coffee. ‘I cannot be moved,’ was her mantra, repeating it over and over since 3a.m.
Have you ever felt so nervous you wanna stop yourself from shaking? Have you ever thought that maybe your nervousness isn’t really what it is, that it is merely excitement that you feel? That was what was like with her from the moment she woke up until the clock struck 12 noon. She ignored Erebus as he passed by, arrived and prepared to assist in any way he can. Erebus managed to make it a little easier for her until the end. A massive creature that he is, like the knights from epic stories where they are roughly huge enough to carry their prey single-handedly on a horse-back ride to a prison cell. She thought of Erebus that way and she was his prey, ready for the taking.
The celebration, a crowd she was not comfortable with (and yes, she was never comfortable with any crowd at all). A clink of short glasses, tini-tiny glasses which are now filled with green liquid filled her tummy. Erebus whispered “ease off…” but she still went and ahead with her stubborn self, feeling like a child, and doing it knowing that Erebus is there to take care of her. After some time she lost track of time and her memories. Erebus took cared of her like no other.
Days passed and Erebus reminded her of her actions and some of what transpired over nachos and a cup of coffee, she was clueless for some, and she could only get snippets of what happened. When Erebus told her about him carrying her on one hand, she can remember having a conversation with him alone downstairs, but she cannot remember what they talked about. And as people talked about what happened back then, she hid herself in Erebus’ arms and words. She was strong and brave enough to move forward because of what Erebus has been telling her.