10 Things I Want

JenRcab

What I really want…

  1. is to ride on the bus and ride for hours, not knowing where to go, not knowing when or how or where the trip will end. I won’t go out for bus stops, I am afraid to get left behind. I will just sit by the window and listen to the unlimited songs from Spotify. Maybe an 8-hour ride would do, to have me for myself, to think clearly and come back with a manuscript on hand.
  2. is to talk to someone for hours, anyone would do. I just want that daily dose of someone’s life shared with a nobody like me. I want to be there for everyone, one day at a time. I want to just keep quiet and listen endlessly to anyone’s ramblings, rants, or banters. It keeps my mind busy thinking about the person I am talking to, and that is what I can call: Friendship Overload.
  3. is to travel outside my country. Though I may be afraid to be alone, I dare myself to book that flight and go on my own. I have always dreamt of how it would feel to be out where no one knows you, no one you know would judge you for how you look, how you dress, how you act, how you speak.
  4. is to buy a land out of my own pockets and put up a house with three floors. Where artists of all kinds flock, where friends and different people come in and out to communicate. Where you can stay for a day or two and just hang out in front of a chimney. I may live in a rented house or apartment, I still want that land of mine for other people, not for myself. 😀 Crazy?
  5. is to try all the hobbies out there. From drawing to painting, from hiking to biking, from photography to videography, from sculpture to scale modeling, from volleyball to swimming, from reading to writing. Although, I am doing most of these things but there are skills I lack that I want to improve and be proud of. haha.
  6. is to paint the walls, the streets, to gather all the artists around and literally paint the town. I feel so excited and scared at the same time with this.
  7. is to have that writing company of myself, but I want no one to know that that is mine and mine alone. Why? I am not really good with compliments and all, like, I tend to make mistakes when people see my works or see me working. That is also why I love pen names and secret identities.
  8. is to have my own designs of clothing at The Project Runway. Impossible, yes I know I know. Silly me. Just said that out of the blue. haha. Some people wanted me to pursue the path of “The Designer” or “The Dressmaker” but I don’t really have the courage to do that. But I want it. Badly. But, no. Yeah, sorry if I am blabbering this contradiction.
  9. is to send my kids to the best school in town, this year. I want to see them excel in school and out, to listen to their cries and complains of how hard school is, but of course, I’d always be there for them and guide them as they go along. I want them to go chasing chickens and getting into muddy puddles and go home dirty because of a long day’s learn and play.
  10. is a tattoo. Don’t ask me why. I just want it! haha 😀

P.S. I wrote my 25 Wishes here. So much for Birth Month. Harhar.

At 24

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“What will happen to you if you do not celebrate?” she asked. “Nothing?” I answered while thinking about it. “So it’s okay not to, ” she smiled. Oh. Wow. I’ve got nothing to lose anyway, I thought.

People come and go as we age and grow up and old and about. As of now I have lost quite a few people, them spilling on my fingers I cannot hold them tight and close to me. But I am thankful for the big heart God has given me that I am capable of loving and taking care of a lot more people than I imagined.

Turning on a new page, a new chapter of my life, I want to change the introverted me. I want to move forward with strength and bravery. I want to walk with confidence and pride on my shoulders. I want to be me, the different me that no one knows yet. I want to love more and care more and be more for all the people I hold dear.

A lot has changed this past year and a lot has happened. I’ve met some new friends and acquaintances, some new enemies and haters. But nevertheless I met the different “me” along the way. And with that said, I want to know more about that “me” before anything else.

Oh my I am getting old. That is no joke. And look at me, still childish at heart and with a granny’s words of wisdom. I know a few things, a bit of everything and quite a lot about being human and not human. Okay, okay. Enough with the rants. Let’s move to letter sharing.

Ahem.

Dear You/Strangers,

Thank you for loving my blog even if it is still new. Thank you for liking my uncontrollable ramblings. Thank you for being there, whoever you are, wherever you are, and whatever you are doing. Strange as it may seem but I love you. Yes you. Aren’t you used to people telling you that? Better get used to it with me. That is all I can say to you right now.

Love, Jen.

My day was great. Had breakfast with my friends from the Zumba Community; Then lunch with mom and our quiet yet kind mentor; and Family Dinner at grandma’s. Why so plain and not so detailed? Because I cannot explain how happy this year’s birthday has been. Although, I miss my gang Christine and Walter. I miss them so much I wish they were here.

Okay. Ahem.

Birthday Wishes?

I wish for a certain man to have peace of mind, that he would be able to find joy in his life with the path he chose to take. That he would not regret anything and that he would be content.
I wish that I meet more people that I could care about be it near or far away from me. Because I want to. And because I love “love”.

I love “Love” itself that being as such, I am inclined to situations I sometimes cannot handle. But that’s okay.