I have been better like peanut butter jelly on loaf always come with honey and lemon tea. And though I don’t know the connection I still said those out loud just because it sounded nonesense at the same time it’s cute.
I had been summuned for an emergency meeting only to come home with more homework to do. Mixed up feelings like nervousness and excitement, raising heart beats due to panic and happiness, I become too overwhelmed to face the “now”. Why do I get the feeling that I am being played at,leaving me some tasks for the big day with the kits am rushing on my plate while they are all relaxed and together having a nonesense I don’t even know what to call it??
I grit my teeth as I learn about this and my fists are gettin ready for a fight. But I breathe deep and I closed my eyes and told myself: There are better days for you and for me and this day will not be the day that I go complaining about tasks when in the first place I accepted without question.
I spent the day like a lazy bug crouched on the sofa with layers of blankets and a very thick comforter. The kids ran around the house from here to forth and I occasionally fell asleep as if no one is around. I can still prepare food for them but I can’t eat. I hate myself for being sick. I am not productive for the day. After lunch they took a nap and I am left to my thoughts…
So this is how it feels to do nothing at all. This is how it feels to think about everything, anything, and nothing at the same time. Wow. I wonder if the people who’s used to this kind of nothingness ever gets bored. I wonder if those people ever thought of changing their ways? I guess not. If they have then their label “nothing” would be of no use anymore. But somehow there is a sense in this nothingness. A moment where you find peace and clarity. Where your thoughts drift to things that matters and you’ll be able to see the importance of doing nothing even for just a day. Isn’t that what “Day Off”s are for? For the employed people? But when you have a day off, you still need to do things you cannot and weren’t able to do during your work days. Like laundry, or a pile of dishes, or a date. We always make time for other people. But I wish you would also consider doing nothing at all. Lying down on the bed, on the floor, staring at a distance, not answering calls, not replying to any messages, and saying no to everybody. Try that and you will see that there is a laughable sense in nothingness.
Where is this passport you speak of? A passport that will free us all of this damned rules? A passport that will take us to places filled of laughter and joy? I become so desperate to look for this passport. As I have plans of fleeing away from the grounds where I stand right now. As I have decided to change my life and live how I wanted from the start. As I have made up my mind on so many things and one of them is that I will do what I want. If and only I have this passport in the grasp of my fingers.
Let me take a look. If not then let me take a peek on it. If not, let me just brush my fingertips on its cover so I know how freedom feels.
But don’t we all want our fortunes to be told as glorious and bountiful as money sounds like bells ringing in our ears?
Will you belucky with life or will you be filled with fear for the upcoming undesirable events?
Will you be blessed with a travel bag full of cash or will you be begging for the next job vacancy to fulfill your basic needs?
Luck in life or Luck in finance. Both have the same impact and effect on human emotions. Stir up a man’s mind with “fortune” and you got him under your fingernails. And who would do such things? Fortune-tellers, Deal or No Deal hosts, etc etc.
P.S. this is only a snippet thought on fortune, so.
Chaotic is her heart as her snippets roam around your mind
Chaotic as art can be in its unending peak
Chaotic as the world of politics and war
Chaotic as her mind of strings
So don’t. Do not come near. Do not come close to her. You will just get your white shirt tainted. And you sure do not want that. Come but not too close. Come but not too near. As she is poison to your lungs and thorn to your throat. Just don’t. She is chaos. She is dangerous. She is chaotic.
Come close and you shall drown. Come close and you shall be hurt. Leave. Just leave. You do not want chaos in your life. Leave her be. Let her go in her own ways and let her do her thing. Do not intervene as she will enter you deeply and leave you scarred. So don’t. You will just regret it.
Chaotic is her heart as her snippets go hand in hand with hell.
Chaotic is her mind as strings goes messy inside her brain.
*the following text is a story based from a person's point of view, her mini life event.
I love you.
That is a hyperbole. An exaggeration of sorts. Because if it isn’t then it would mean so much more. Because if it isn’t then it would be chaos. If it isn’t then the world would see the heart of a woman in pain and we both know that we do not want that. Because you want to keep it to yourself, because you keep so much from the universe. And I do not want that either. Because everything will fall apart and the stage will burn. And if it burns the audience would leave. Don’t leave. Even if it is just a hyperbole. Let’s give them a show that they will never forget. Let us give them the greatest story ever told and eradicate all cliches of The Normal Life.
I love you. But that is a hyperbole. Do not forget that.
It’s an odd story that takes place in a city in a mountain. There’s a young odd being, curious of the world around. Too many questions for a child and too many things to explore. It wanders around like a free soul, searching for answers even an adult cannot comprehend.
It encounters a lot of human beings, a lot of subjects to experiment on. It asks around, digs deep into human emotions without doing it on purpose. It tries to manipulate itself thinking that it can take control of itself in a world that it did not expect to consume that much of energy.
Along the journeys of this young odd being, it refuses to grow as finding out that growing means aging and wisdom and decay. Wanting to avoid such event, it stopped asking and doing stuff around the soils of Gaea. It stopped thinking completely like a dead plant. But it only became ignorant of the world after the WWII. It does not know how things work anymore or how emotions were portrayed into different media.
A decade has passed and a human being suddenly stepped on its roots. In doing so, the human awakened the sleeping child. They began talking. Deeper conversations, sharing of their own unique adventures. It became lively again, like it was reborn with not a single idea of where it came from and nothing of the world it lived in before. Looking at the universe at its present state in the eyes of the human, it became curious once more. It became too interested with everything. It easily falls for good things and events and emotions that are fastly spreading around.
But it also became too dependent from the human being. It uses his eyes and ears and feelings, letting the human being capable of everything while it enjoys the show that it did not know a seed of negativity is growing somewhere at the back of the yard. Without notiing this, the seed grew into a leaf and into a tree. They both saw the tree and danced around it, rejoicing and laughing that a new life has been created near their lives. Littledd they know that the tree would be the cause of their tragic fates.
The human has started to feel awkward and becomes aggressive. While it becomes too curious of deeper emotions and questions every action. Until they come to a point where they realizes that they are somehow attracted to each other. But “it” was the first one to regain control and weeps in silence. It slowly disappeared from the human being so as to avoid confusion. It ran away from the human being and wandered the earth more without any companion.
It felt subdued as it wanders. With a pale face and a body weaker than a leaf, it crumbled to dust as it says goodbye to the present year and hello to eternal life.
It’s supposed to be “Pop! Goes the weasel…”. But it’s Plop! Goes ideas…hahaha.
I can’t afford to think of anything right now. A lot is on my plate, a lot is going on lately. There’s a never-ending list of favors from people that I’ve said “yes” to, without second thoughts. I know it’s too late to back out but the thrill and the challenge? That’s priceless. That’s what keeps me alive, doing so many things. But what if my body gives up? Plop! Goes ideas…hahaha.
I never had the courage to say that “I can” do this, do that, do this, do whatever. But lately, I don’t know what made me start saying “yes” to everything. Aha! Remember that movie? But I won’t compare this to that. Haha. Anyways, sorry for the rambling. It’d just that my title is so cute I can’t just ignore it. Hahaha.