10 Things I Want

JenRcab

What I really want…

  1. is to ride on the bus and ride for hours, not knowing where to go, not knowing when or how or where the trip will end. I won’t go out for bus stops, I am afraid to get left behind. I will just sit by the window and listen to the unlimited songs from Spotify. Maybe an 8-hour ride would do, to have me for myself, to think clearly and come back with a manuscript on hand.
  2. is to talk to someone for hours, anyone would do. I just want that daily dose of someone’s life shared with a nobody like me. I want to be there for everyone, one day at a time. I want to just keep quiet and listen endlessly to anyone’s ramblings, rants, or banters. It keeps my mind busy thinking about the person I am talking to, and that is what I can call: Friendship Overload.
  3. is to travel outside my country. Though I may be afraid to be alone, I dare myself to book that flight and go on my own. I have always dreamt of how it would feel to be out where no one knows you, no one you know would judge you for how you look, how you dress, how you act, how you speak.
  4. is to buy a land out of my own pockets and put up a house with three floors. Where artists of all kinds flock, where friends and different people come in and out to communicate. Where you can stay for a day or two and just hang out in front of a chimney. I may live in a rented house or apartment, I still want that land of mine for other people, not for myself. 😀 Crazy?
  5. is to try all the hobbies out there. From drawing to painting, from hiking to biking, from photography to videography, from sculpture to scale modeling, from volleyball to swimming, from reading to writing. Although, I am doing most of these things but there are skills I lack that I want to improve and be proud of. haha.
  6. is to paint the walls, the streets, to gather all the artists around and literally paint the town. I feel so excited and scared at the same time with this.
  7. is to have that writing company of myself, but I want no one to know that that is mine and mine alone. Why? I am not really good with compliments and all, like, I tend to make mistakes when people see my works or see me working. That is also why I love pen names and secret identities.
  8. is to have my own designs of clothing at The Project Runway. Impossible, yes I know I know. Silly me. Just said that out of the blue. haha. Some people wanted me to pursue the path of “The Designer” or “The Dressmaker” but I don’t really have the courage to do that. But I want it. Badly. But, no. Yeah, sorry if I am blabbering this contradiction.
  9. is to send my kids to the best school in town, this year. I want to see them excel in school and out, to listen to their cries and complains of how hard school is, but of course, I’d always be there for them and guide them as they go along. I want them to go chasing chickens and getting into muddy puddles and go home dirty because of a long day’s learn and play.
  10. is a tattoo. Don’t ask me why. I just want it! haha 😀

P.S. I wrote my 25 Wishes here. So much for Birth Month. Harhar.

One Day, One Ride, One Hell of an Adventure

Geo’s Photography

Crushing dreams, crumbling hearts. I go escape a day of reality to face another reality.
On my way, I feel excited and alone. I did not think about what could happen on the following hours. Cause I have no idea, actually. And I just want to enjoy my ride alone. Fleeting hours, I took a 30-minute nap, then chatted endlessly.

My sister was supposed to fetch me, cause this girl will get lostin Manila you know! But she just woke up when I arrived at the terminal. I was pushed to have an adventure, unexpectedly. I rode the LRT for the first time, alone. Haha. Then walked and walked until I reached Robinsons Place. What a fancy place, my little sister lives in. Had breakfast at McDonald’s and went to her condo to sleep while waiting for dad’s go signal.

We had lunch at Almon Marina and I loved the Seafood Kebab meal. Then strolled a bit. Looked for corporate attires and all. Pricey fancy things that I don’t want that much. Then had Mango Bravo at Conti’s Bakeshop and Restaurant. Strolled again, bought monkeys and went back to the condo then rode on a bus home.

As for emotions are concerned, I am appalled. I don’t know why, I dont know how. I just know that this isn’t right at all, no matter how you or me change the atmosphere. I actually decided and wanted to see for myself, to satisfy my hunger for answers. And I got it, unconsciously. I wanted to cry my heart out. But if I do, my kids at home will greet me with puffy eyes? I don’t want that. All I could do is suck it up and smile. What will I tell them when they ask? Of course I’ll tell them that I went to see their grandpa but he was sick so he coudn’t come see them early or right now, or whatever. Lies pile up like molten rocks on a mountain where lava hides inside.

The man I can not greet in public. Or sorry, let me rephrase that. The man I am not allowed to greet in public. The man I am not allowed to say cheesy things like how I love him or how my life is, lately. That even if he asks, I have to say how great it is that I am receiving his love and care even if he is so near yet so far from me.

So. I went home with material stuff from the great old man and I slept a little to forget my selfish thoughts. I have to be bigger than this, you know.

Note/s from the trip: Nothing goes wrong if you stock a can or two of Pringles when traveling. Family bonds are the most special moments you can ever get even if it was just through escaping from both sides of reality, even if it just takes half of your day.

Travel Rambling

Why do people travel,I wonder. Why do you travel? Why do people go far away from their homes and explore the world? I want to know.

Because I haven’t traveled that far. I haven’t seen the world yet. And just thinking about it excites me in the highest level that I can handle. I have been imagining, the life of a traveler. How does it feel to move from one place to another? From riding the bus or train or even an airplane. From walking the streets of Paris or stepping on the roads of Amsterdam. From eating french bread to roaming around like a locale. Ahh, the foreign air, the foreign soil.

I have traveled to Saudi, yes. Saudi Arabia. When I was too young to remember things. When I was too young to explore on my own. I can only remember bits and bits of pieces of those memories when I see a photo of me. I do remember those little stones outside my dad’s office building that I throw in the air and shout “yay! Rain!” though. I also remember that time when I put a hair cap on and a band aid on my chin then took a photo of me on a chair. So much memories that are only shared through mom and dad’s stories. Everything that I have been doing when I was a kid in that foreign land was funny. Like that time when I locked mom’s co-worker out the terrace of their quarters, in a towel. Mom got worried to why her co-worker hasn’t checked in at work yet and she went back to the quarters to check. She opened the terrace and her workmate was crying and sobbing because of the heat. Then that time that I got locked inside the clinic’s (or hospital?) storage room with the large thick metal doors. The whole staff with my mom assisted a 2-year old Jen to open it from the inside. Mom was instructing me to use my left hand, which I use to draw and turn some knobs around. It took an hour or two before I was finally out and they were all sweating. Haha. That, and much more.

But what I want to do now, is to travel on my own. You know, packing a luggage of a week’s worth of clothes and head out to board an airplane on my own. To be crazy and go wild on a foreign land, write a novel, and drink different wines and liquor. Oh, add scale modeler hunting and rare kits hauling to that! Yeah, I am now a certified scale modeler. Haha.

“Break the glass please, and free us from all these damned rules,from needing to find an explanation for everything, from doing only what others approve of.”

~ Paulo Coelho, By The River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept

Monday Speed Typing

Haven’t been posting lately and can only post short ones due to the overwhelming events that occurred in my life recently.

All I can say is that…

WOW!!!!!!!!

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My life has turned upside down last week and the past few days have proven to be such an adventure.

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I can only post a picture of mine and these are the faces of me when I am at the peak of an iceberg or not really.

This week will be a lot of traveling, training, meeting yet another group of new people, and eating less to remove the excess of everything, soul and body matter-of-fact speaking.

I hope you have a wonderful week and hoping to blog more regularly after this moment of haze in my head. Good luck to us all! Oh and if you have post requests or anything you’d like me to share on the blog, just leave a comment or mail me at hersnippets@gmail.com

I will be waiting!

XoXo

Stroll

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“Come stroll with me in my mind. Come stroll with me here, dear.” He said, smiling and offering his hand.

“You’re funny. You are too far away. How will I ever get there? Will you be paying for my fare?” She giggled.

“Of course not. I’ll come home and we’ll swim together going back here.” He joked.

She laughed then, her uncontrollable laugh she has been hiding.

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Today’s post and a stroll around for other blog posts…

a stroll through the dark

a not so lazy sunday afternoon because it is sunday, right?